My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
