I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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