living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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