Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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