Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
