Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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