Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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