god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
A bitchslap is in order.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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