While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I have post one night stand depression
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
