This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
