We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
