maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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