She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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