I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
PANTIES FOUND
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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