I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
