I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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