addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
