Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
