I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
