You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
