exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
