talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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