Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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