Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
