last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
