He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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