i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
