so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize