Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
