You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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