sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
