brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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