There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
