Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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