She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
