the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
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