Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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