i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
