I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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