yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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