He uses pillows to masturbate.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
