Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
