he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
