Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
