hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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