her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
