Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
