I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
