false alarm. still invincible.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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