butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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