U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
