I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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