how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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