I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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