How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
