At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
