from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
