Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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