his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
