We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize