I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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