The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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